You're Fired!

I woke up this last Monday without a job and waiting to hear back from some auditions.

What a week.

I ended up getting a job, losing the job, and embarking upon some first time experiences (to say the least).

Alright, enough dramatic build up—let’s get to the point: so, as an artist, I’ve already talked about the fact that I need side jobs, hustles, or crime sprees in order to supplement my income.  A good friend of mine hooked me up with this job in which I’d be teaching drama to kids at a camp.  I was pretty excited.  First of all, I have experience working with kids, and I’d be teaching a subject that I actually liked (for more information about my previous life, visit here).

So, Monday I woke up unemployed without a real plan for the week besides taking acting/dance classes, reading, and writing.  But I got a call.  (oh hey!). And they said they wanted to hire me, and I needed to start the next day.  Cool! I get to make some money early while I’m still getting my APS teacher check? Shoot, I was ready to go on a CVS shopping spree…like buy actual name brand toothbrushes (I changed my mind when I saw the prices, though).  Anyway, I started Tuesday, and it was cool.  The kids were fun and the subject was awesome.

But then I got a text about an acting opportunity that I felt I couldn’t really turn down.  I didn’t know what to do.  On the one hand, I felt like I needed to take the opportunity, and on the other hand, I didn’t want to let people down at a commitment that I just made.  I was kind of frantic for a few minutes.

As I left ballet class and passed by Daniel Radcliffe signing autographs, I called a close friend and asked for advice:

“Lumumba,” he said, “Remember why you went up to New York.  You said that you will always be pulled in different directions but that you wanted to go up there for a specific reason.”

And that was that.  I made the call, and they called back eventually saying that they needed somebody else who could really commit to being there.  No hard feelings.  I told them that I definitely understood.

I have to remember why I came up here.  I’m not saying that every decision I make will be correct, or that I’ll handle every situation in the right way; however, I do want to be sincere, honest, and upfront about everything that I do.  I came here to be an actor/singer.  If I were going to prioritize other things, then I could have stayed in Atlanta.  Part of me feels horrible about saying that.  I feel weirdly selfish.  And I still haven’t quite embraced this attitude.  I’m not even sure if it’s the right attitude.  But I do have to be focused.  Even if that focus and my love of the arts are clouded in ambivalence regarding the practical matter of actually living a lifestyle in which I will sometimes take on more than I can handle and have to pull back in order to reevaluate my commitment to being an artist.

I think that’s the meat of the matter.  In terms of my firsts for the week, I had the opportunity to work as an extra on a web series, which was my first time on a film set.  It was quite interesting! That’s all the detail I’ll give here. Also, I did my first overnight shoot with them.  I was crazy tired at the end, but was still hella excited to be a part of it.  I definitely went out of my comfort zone, but that’s a big part of being an artist: getting out of your own way.

What’s the point of having faith if you’re too afraid to leap?